Almost over

I don't write as much anymore, it's a good sign I hope. Things really have been looking up the past January and it will maintain, I hope. I mean, I write when I am excessively stressed by anything at all and well...perhaps I don't need this outlet anymore. I was too focused on other people, I'd forgot all about myself. I showed others the way out of theirs when it was also the way I needed the most. I told others to confide but it was the very thing I had to do too. And I guess now I have a good grip on myself to push myself and to go further and all. Except now it's with a certain kind of feeling behind, one that I'm not very sure how to explain myself. It feels good to have it fill me when I do things that I like but it fills and changes itself when I am sad, or angry and it kind of amplifies how I see everything. I hope this is how others feel when they go about their everyday lives. This feeling here, I wonder who understands too.

So some of my closer friends have been urging me to get a girlfriend. No please haha not for a long while. I'm honestly quite sick of meeting people who really..just show me that they do not want to care/do not care/ bitch about me even after my intentions for them are honestly good. I'm waist-deep in my own stuff and I prefer to live like this for awhile now, if you're going to burden me then just fuck off. Maybe soon there'll be someone I can actually really talk to, but now anytime soon I'll be letting someone into my inner circles.

That and dance-wise, I seem to be improving at a really good rate my popping. Locking seems to be slowing down... never really focused on it for a while. When holidays come my training will double yet again yay.

It's been a while since I've written out of anger that I have a little trouble doing so now. Hmm... There's a frustration that wants to come out but I can't bring it out somehow. Man... feeling all confused and shit...

But most of all, I'm dead sick of putting in effort for people who will turn against me. Suddenly when I do the same, I become the bad guy. hmm....