한동안 헤매고 헤매다
마치 약속이라도 한 듯
내 계절을 거슬러 그 날처럼
마주 서있는 우리
그 때 우리가 써내려갔던 아름다웠던 이야기
그 때 우리가 기도했었던 영원 하자던 약속들
하나씩 떠올리다 나의 가슴이
견디지 못 할걸 알기에
네 생각에 더 꾹 참았어
너의 일 년은 또 어땠었니...?"
Painstaking to write this. But... It's how i feel.
Was thinking back about all my past experiences in love. Three greatest regrets...i lived alright without you. I thought i would be okay...just like the song says.
"끝이 없는 후회만 되뇌이다가 이겨낼 자신이 없어서"
I've no confidence in facing these regrets.
I'll live them as my spurs to not making the same mistakes again. My friend was right. I shouldn't have started any relationship with any knowledge of how to. Learnt some things hard and now... I don't dare to fall in love again. Everytime i feel like i am, i hold back. I don't want anyone to have any sort of feelings for me. I don't want to hurt anymore... Love is like a war. Easy to start, hard to stop. And the casualties of war are usually...on the end of rejections. Somehow i wish i could go into seclusion. Where it's just me, and nobody. I'd live the way i wanted it to...but an equal half wants a life with the people i love. Where there's love there's bound to be pain. I let these tears hang in the folds of my memories. I just have to bury all these feelings and finally, painfully, move on.
I just wish i was better.
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