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How silly of me. It's been a year but everytime i think back, that same hurt opens up again. Although everytime i feel just a little more numbed to everything, i know its there. How it hurt so much to suddenly wake up one day and realise everything i wanted was walking the other way. It has been a year. I'm not supposed to feel anything anymore... I don't wanna feel anything either. I wish i hadn't had feelings. I guess... I was too childish back then. Nothing's really changed since then and... I'm still weak. I can't take care of myself let alone another person

I remember. Day one, i set my eyes on you, i heard your story. I sworn to protect you.

Day two, i suddeny fell in love with you.

Day three, i hated every moment without you.

Week one, i got to know you more, then angel i always wanted.

First month, i remember. It was 1225...i held you for the first time. You looked so beautiful in the moonlight.

Our first quarrel. Things went downhill. Just 3 months after i met you...we went back to being strangers.

I'm sick of waiting for someone. I'm really sick of fighting. I know the reason we failed, was simply my fault that i was too dependant, too proud. I wish so hard that i would feel the appreciation from someone wanting to be with me. And i mean to really feel the appreciation, them taking the first step is just something small. But along that line... Her having that kind of guts to initiate. That kind of confidence in any girl is a huge turn on...

All the failed relationships. My instincts are almost always right and i know, logically or not whether such a bong will last and...i cannot see it last. There seems to be this certain someone i met recently that i know can last but... I don't know. Maybe its just my wishful thinking.

2.15 am. Im dead beat and all i want is a goodnights sleep, a break from my head.