Just how much it sucks. To have someone you feel for. That it is such a critical period and everything is getting on your nerves and every little thing she does just amplifies into so much misery, knowing that whatever happens to her, you just can't be there for her ,to comfort her. I really grieve when she is down, i cheer when she laughs. But with every minute i fear a little more. That she would get closer to another guy. That someone else will make her feel the way i want her to feel about herself, to love herself.
I'm not the competitive type. I won't chase. I'd rather hurt quietly than let her know i still had feelings for her and i absolutely hate it but i chose to be like this, i have to take that risk of someone else having her. That someone else will live to see her smile while i dream about it.
I'm so selfish. I hurt so much for so long that love seems like a warning over that fairytale texture painted by hopeful fools.
It hurts to see her even talking to another guy. I never...ever got so jealous over someone before. I feel so irritable and down and only happy when she talks to me. I don't know anymore. I feel like i'll never have the chance to spend that special moments with her anymore. I feel so horrible.
I'll just immerse myself in biology.
No comments:
Post a Comment