Heartfall.

I don't think i'll ever forget last year, july 19th, that fateful thursday where he tore the years of suppressed emotions out of me. I don't think he understood how much it changed me. Before secondary school, i was an introvert that could barely look into someone's eye and speak to them. I felt nothing and all i wanted was to get home to sleep.
He turned me into a uncontrollable thing, overflowing with rampant emotions ravaging my every being every second,everyday. I simply lost control of me as a whole but thanks to a certain someone, i had the courage and strength to fight out. Still...and now. Who i am now.

But one thing still...stays. I don't dare to go out of my way for another person. Not because they are not good enough but...i don't dare to. They always seem so distant that i rather separate than keep feeling that stupid insecurity. And everytime i get attached to someone, well, like someone, i can spend days just thinking why i'm not good enough for them and today is just another of those days. I like people fast because i think
I might be able to rely on them then go fast when i realise not. It's been over a a decade and every year i wish for someone i can rely on. What more...i'm a boring person. I dont have that kind of security other guys have. I don't have that kind of command other guys hold. I...

I'm the kind that complains all day and does nothing about the situation. I know im not good enough for her and i dont know how to change that fact.