He must not waver in the face of a beast but must lay his sword down for his lady. Okay from young i really really liked the ideas of knights and swordsmen because i always found this tradition really cool. That all men must be a gentlemen, In any age because uncouth behavious to a girl is extremely looked down upon( Unless she was an absolute bitch in public, that would warrant a slap and the crowd cheering for the man). Robin hood and the sorts. So from ancient times to the modern times it has evolved from the knights on the right of the fair maiden, to the swordsman that escorts his lady through the forests, to the butler that holds doors open for a lady to go before him to a masquerade ball, to a man that walks beside her, holding car doors open and stays a step below her on stairs lest she falls. I think it can be really really attractive when a guy knows how to treat his lady. It's getting rarer and rarer when along the streets you sometimes see girls throwing themselves to guys and guys tossing girls around like ragdolls and toying with them. Oh oh i really like that time when the man invites his lady for a masquerade ball dance. I like this part woo
The man gestures towards her and he asks 'May I?' as he puts his hand out and she takes it, joining him in the dance. Kings and Queens would gather to make merry and drink wine in the castle as jesters and musicians would play and joke and finish up with the festivities. I think that should be the 1800's of the English? Now i question... How old am i...
I found this really weird insecurity. Only after countless dreams and visions. I'm insecure about not dying earlier...
Wherever i walk, i just need to see something even a little dangerous and hundred over hundreds of morbid scenes starts playing in my head and hundreds of ways to die starts to play. This was pretty terrifying at the start. I think it started somewhere along the start of this week. I started seeing accidents and one by one they would happen to people around me and not long after i starting to wonder when and how i would die. I mean everyday i can feel something dangerous is going to happen to me soon. Maybe that's the reason i keep doing dangerous stuff hehe. This seriously isn't normal is it. I feel like i've made my impact and it will slowly spread and... I'm not needed here anymore. Not that i like the singaporean society that much anyway. Now that i think of it... Maybe all the negativity from other people are rubbing off on me. Like i'm cheering them up and their sadness glues onto me cos i'm a down magnet. I'm attractive in that sense oh gosh sorryhaha.
But hey i've put the rest of my emotions back into place like i don't blush uncontrollably when some embarrassing things happen or i don't spazz weirdly that much and and my heart doesn't stray off anymore. Kind of like frozen and it's a warm fuzzing when i think of her and a few other things. I like it this way. Not having control but having influence. I don't like people having full control over things. Come on where would the fun be in that?
NYP orientation is next monday. How should i feel? I have so many questions i want answered. How will this life be like in NYP? How will the class be like? Will the people be nice? Will i be happy there? Is there anyone i will be able to create really strong bonds with anyone there... Because starting school with NOBODY you know is kind of scary. Worse still i'm an introvert. So... The orientation is gonna be so awkward for me. I'm quite a strange person. Hehe the course i'm in needs me to be a good talker. I'm anything but that... Not with my current state of mind heh.
My gosh why am i taking so long to recover. Since comp... I'm still down with flu. If only..
HEY HEY. 2048!
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