Black rose.

They say, every rose has its thorns. Where beauty and perfection lies, hides pain and suffering. Something like that. I know i can give much, much more than compared to now, which is barely...half? My emotions are thick and heavy. And worse still, i've been dyed black. It's no wonder that i rarely confide in people and rather keep things to myself.

Just had a dream...that in the month of august, a separation will occur again. It's linked to so much anger and hatred... And i've a feeling i know who it is. It'll spark off so much emotions, so much suppressed feelings that possibly, circles of people could be affected. Well...i'm trying all i can to stop it. It's gonna come anyway...

My emotions change so quickly. And worse still...i haven't fully confronted my past hurt that now whenever i have feelings for another person, i can't fully...love that person. Never could from young anyways. Always feeling numbed, disappointed, frustrated and angry. And feeling like i can't confide because people leave me advice, and not lend me their heart. As quoted, i don't need a defender, just a soulful listener. I need something that can release my feelings properly, and not unleash them in that destructive way that landed me in the hospital. It's not love, and i'm starting to lose hope in it too. I'm tired of feeling alone. I'm tired of feeling like i'm doing everything. Most of all...i'm tired of knowing that i'm not strong enough to support so many people.