Face to face again.

It's kinda scary to have all that pent up, built up, stacked emotions and frustrations exploding all at once. Just because...of one person.

She affected me moderately, but the snowball effect scared me. This is similar to last year, july 17 and july 23. Both days in a way led me to where i am today and is almost replaying the way it is a year ago. I don't want to meet that part of my past again. I just hope i'll be strong enough to overcome him. I don't want him running amok, holding everything i painstakingly hidden and throwing it for all to see.

I learnt how to prey on weaker minds. It backfired, when my mind became weak, it fed on me. Just recovered from aneroxia. Physical to mental to emotional pains and troubles really remind me of back then.

I'n scared to lose any more people precious to me already. I've had enough. Maybe i should stop getting closer to people, so i won't have to feel the pain of separation again?

I'm such a problematic person. I'd be better off dead already. Then again...there might already be a date when that happens...