Me.

A walking contradiction. I don't want you close to me but you're all i want. I'm addicted to you but i break from you. I want to care for you but i don't want to annoy you. I love you, and i don't want you to be sick of me.

Today was quite unpleasant. 2 sciences and maths, 3 humanities. Drained extremely badly...then to have you annoyed and down. Wanted to make sure you wrre alright. Remember myself nearly fainting a few times on the way home. My head hurts and i've so much to do...

Mind is meddling up, all the info's swirling in my head like a sick soup. Spinning, cloudy and dark...slowly losing focus on what i have. What i can do, bit by bit~
"In a dark room, noises creep everywhere. A torch lights, lighting only itself and a blade, where the glow slies down the tip. Hot, it comes closer. It singes and sears your skin, cutting into the finger bone. Muscles sizzles and blood forms a sick crust, and it continues through effortlessly. Finally the blade is pulled out, leaving it to hang on a strand of muscle. The pain is all too real. All you do is scream, but nobody will help"

Yeah. Feel like i'm in that dark room, with more blades cutting me. I scream for help inside, but i never want to burden any of my closer friends. I can only hope that the laughter they bring me offers a breather and a spark enough for me to hang on a little while more. And one more emotion joins the fray.

All i want to do is to hold you, take care of you. Cheesy. But yeah...i'm too tired to wait. The irony is this, my feelings start in care but also ends in care. I'd just wish that you'd return these feelings, already so thick quickly. I'm selfish like this. I just want you to be mine.