Another night feeling left out in the open so vulnerable and weak. I wish i could control my emotions better than this but... Ahh. It's much better than back then anyway.
I feel really stupid for needing anybody. I'm a guy. I should be depending on myself and allowing others to depend on me. Then i think back...i've kind of forgotten what it feels like to have someone to lean on. Every night i face my past of two people and now facing it alone just sucks. I don't want him back. I...think i'm slowly losing.
The workplace immersed me into an interesting environment. Everyone has a story behind them. A real, hard story that forced them where they are. Some to support their family, some to feed themselves. But whatever the reason, one day in service line was enough to jolt me to this reality; nobody is going to be spared if you are not willing to lose.
I wonder sometimes. When is love ever going to find me again? When will i be lucky enough to feel lucky to have somebody? In that way of course. I never ever needed her to be that pretty, just presentable. Just a little more mature than me and just...her. Such high expectations i have...
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