Pride is important. You still need that pride as a person, for whatever. Pride can bring about respect and admiration and it can lead. But that same thing can bring about disdain and disgust. Ever since my 'stint' in NCC it made me learn that i'd rather be guide than a role model in training, then be the role model when needed. Or at least to be what is needed, when it is needed. What is the point of being fierce all the time when you can be at the right times? What are you trying to put across? I mean think of it. In training, you are senior and junior. Outside of training, friends. Then there is this issue fhat When it comes to being strict, some are leaders and some are bosses and i agree to this that leaders says 'lets go' while bosses tells you 'go'. And most importantly, those that deserve the respect are those that dive into the crap with you, survive with you, guide you through and feel the satisfaction with you. So far... There's only one person i've met and i still really respect that guy. I wonder where he is now. Because he made me realise that above respect, above ability and above rank the most important thing is none other than the bond. It's pretty useless if you've got the rank but everyone else wants to slap the shit out of you.
Today for the first time i made such a big mistake. I forgot that i will get tired sigh. I got home and just lay down on the floor for A MINUTE. BAM suddenly it's 8 pm. And now i'm still tired as hell. Once this competition is over i'll eat and sleep well and rest and do my stuff. I'm so tired sigh its actually pretty tough waking up so early ( again) ((been six months since i did it)) and i'm not eating properly again. 2 meals a day if i remember. Ahh... But hey i'm feeling pretty good. Gordon and Irah passed i'm so happy for them :D
I'm still a little curious about this Star but i'm also a little annoyed. The anonymosity was fun at first but over time, if you keep asking me how i was doing i would have the impression of you as a stalker... So i'd rather this Star person actually talked to me. I have this impression that she is under sec 3, a quiet person with a small circle of friends and quite introverted. I hope i will be that surprised if she ever tells me who she is. I don't like to wait.
And and. I haven't talke to her in awhile. Oh wells... No girl problems for now and that's a good thing. No going emo over a girl no hole in my wallet and no time spent fussing over her for now. In that same sense i'm free to go find someone suitable maybe? Anyway i can get comfortable around people quite easily ever since the changes i had to go through._. and maybe even access feelings on the first meeting if i feel like it. Since recently i've been seeing alot of interesting people. There's this one i just noticed today and i'm starting to find her really cute. Like she's my type. Those that knows how to pull their weight and what to do. They know. And that's really sexy.
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