"Once in awhile, amidst all the bad days, you have a good day. A great day even. Make sure you remember those days. Keep it in the pocket of your coat or a jar on your desk because you need to know that there are and will be better times. You need to remember how you felt all warm inside like you just drunk a hot cup of tea. Like how a small fire ignited inside you. Hold on to the warmth and never let it go"
It has been a while since i felt this.. kind of difficulty to talk to someone. And its also a first that anyone can make me regret being the kind of person i am. Its pretty true they say you may never miss the person anymore but somewhere you will still care. I dont feel anything for you anymore but sometimes the way you cross my mind again, it reminds me how much i cared, how much i wanted you to be happy and how badly disappointed i was and.. how happy i really felt being around you and it always ends like this. All that emotions doesnt mean anything when comparing it to losing among the closest people i've ever known. Maybe i really am the one who's horrible and screwed up inside and i don't know. I know i had to walk away. i find it stupid that no matter what happened it was always, and it may be always you first. I dont expect to talk to you ever again, at least not in a long while until i forget what you've done but i guess i just hope, i cross your mind once in awhile like you do in mine and that you remember not of my flaws but of where i too made you happy, the bright sun through the sky of grey. As much as you made my life better in that short time i hope i did for you too.
And now about fb. Yes fb again... Looks like its really gonna clash with ncc pds. I think im not suited for dance at all. I'm much more better off with my guitar cus with the guitar, i feel like me. Absolutely free and i can go to places where people can only dream of by just using the guitar. Maybe i might quit dancing and focus on my guitar after this.
My health is on the decline. Both physically and mentally, i'm slowly wearing down and i cant afford to rest. I wish i was talented. Everything i have now is based off hard work and i wish for just a little talent. Not to be amazingly good but actually just to be a fast learner. Sometimes actually. I'm pretty appalled by how much effort i put in sometimes. I feel my joints creaking under pressure and while it doesnt hurt yet it makes me a little worried. I've yet to hit stage two of my own training and i'm wearing down this easily.
I'm missing a few humans now. I kind of wish they were with me now.. i dont know. There is one person in particular. I havent seen you in awhile.. i miss all you old friends.
And one day should the sky fall and the earth crumble under your feet, even if the seas rage and the winds cull you can think of me, and everything will be a little better
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