Sick again

So last prac was the worst prac i've ever had. Fell sick while dancing and i dont get sick very easily. But once i do its those kind of urgh shitty bursts of hell ...Studio A i swear feels like the north pole or something. My teeth were chattering so hard and my skin felt solid and yeah. My body froze on me. My head was spinning and pounding i couldnt really feel my feet. Fever i guess too.Horrible horrible feeling. Didnt drink enough water, had a really really long day. Started it at 6, just to reach school by 7 to help NCC prepare for the parade. Got my certificate and the bear and went for reception then ended things by 11? And got back to NYP by 12 to prepare for my first presentation ever. I was just nerves and felicia was absent so i had to cover her parts, so darn heavy but we got through. So by now i'm close to falling asleep while walking, then there's prac. So yeah... Long, long day indeed.

i spent the most of the previous days looking through my notes and i came across a particular drawing. Okay maybe more of a note and this note, oh the memories...
Mr pew,입술위해 pew, 딸콤하제 pew~
The same person that got me so addicted to Apink and kpop all over again and came up with mr pew.. Cant remember which night it was when i saw this and i was overwhelmed by everything i held back and just like how the horoscope said, to find the thing that holds me down. Now i guess, i can say i put the past down. Facing my classmates, i dont feel so alienated from them anymore. Facing everything else... I'll fix them sooner or later.
Lesson learnt huh. I cant damn afford to be sentimental. I hate it when i have any kind of attachments to people. In a friendly way, no matter but more, for attractions and crushes and of families, which gene did i get when both sides are pretty aloof in person. its all obvious. And i dont want to waste another person's time. I keep on thinking about me and what i have to offer for them and guess what? Nothing it seems. Or i'm really not trying hard enough. Even so, im still pretty emotional for a guy sigh.

Week by week the urge to quit fb just gets stronger and stronger. I dont get it either. NCC still is a priority and fb will definitely clash sigh. Then...and the people in fb. This is entirely just me haha i find it tougher and tougher to keep up with the rest. My progress is slowing down. Okay its just me.

I wonder why things happen the way they do, why i like who i do and who i dont, why i do what i do sometimes. Mysteries of life hehe