Just another daydream.

I look to the sky and just wonder as i walk. I remember how your eye lights up as you smile, your sweet laughter that rings as you stroll beside me past the gate, hand in mine. The sun radiates gently in the cool evening and our footsteps click lightly on the concrete floor and all i hear is you telling me how your day was, you complaining about how you didn't like what that guy did. My heart drunk on content briefly overspills as my eyes meet yours and my heart beats faster again. I feel butterflies in my stomach again. You led me over to the gazebo by the pool and sat, nagging about the day and even at me. Taking my spot behind you i let my hands curl around your waist and your fingers fills the spaces between mine while i whisper sweet nothings into your ear. The fragrance of your hair floats in the air and i just glance barely, to see you staring at my lips. I return with a gaze as i slowly move in to meet yours, eyes closing slowly...slowly. I can feel your breath on my skin.

Oh look i'm at work already. Time to get going... Sigh. Just another daydream i guess...




They say you don't know what you have till you lose it. No shit man. I'm suddenly filled with so much more negativity tonight i don't even know why. I want to rant to somebody have someone really listen. But i don't have the time or energy. Or worst still, when i do i don't have the heart to do so. I'm afraid that they'll find me a bore. Or a chore to handle. Or another negative point of view. Maybe i'm being all picky again but all i want is just that someone. Someone that might be able to understand how i feel to talk to me. Honestly having this much lidded on is almost making want to cry and i don't get why tonight i'm suddenly feeling all this. I don't mind being a punching bag for others but at times i just want someone to talk to me too.

Siva suddenly asked me if i have a girlfriend. Now at least i know what to answer HAHA i'll just tell people 'unwanted' hey that works. I know i'm bound to be hurt. And that numbing cycle is about to happen very, very soon. I don't understand though... Why did he ask me to chase her?

All i know is. My heart doesn't want to give up no matter what i do... Why on earth am i so stubborn for this. Why why why why why