:/

I find solace in solitarity and only in weaving stronger bonds with those already close to me. I hate change really badly... It really hurts to have a relationship with a person change for the worse. Losing a friend, losing family, losing kin. Like maybe i'm like this because of the past that i choose to shrink into my circle of people.

Then again, i'm seasoned to that kind of pain. I'm most of the time the reason they leave. I don't put in effort, i don't mean what i say, i'm not what i think i am.

But even so i still have a few people so close to me it hurts and i know its gonna hurt losing them cos i'm really scared that poly life is going to start and they might find new friends and forget this bond that was forged. Insecure me.

I mean. I have my family. Then two brothers and a sister i don't want to lose at all.