Dying for rest

Maybe what they say is true. Let it find you, then you'll be happy. I feel so... Weird. It doesn't feel emotionless but it doesn't feel chaotic. Hey maybe i'm normal again like no need for someone. I guess and hope this stays. No matter how much i reminisce and think back i feel really okay. That doesn't mean i got over the phobia though. I feel really anxious inside somehow.

Down today. High fever even after my meds and now just lying on my bed... Slacking. Tomorrow is going to be a strange day indeed... I wanna quit already. Okay wait slow down HAHA i'm not making sense anymore.
So...later will suck, and i don't know if el has recovered. And i'm sick. And i gotta wake up early. I shall just like...keep dead quiet tomorrow i don't know.

'Maybe i really can be happy if you are.'