Stargazer

And it looks like i'm looking at me myself when i see her. This is among the most curious, entertaining, intruiging, weird, strange and probably the oddest feeling ever. She has the same drive as me(okay maybe similar not the same) to make that significant other smile. And... To make that person happy. It's real strange because i honestly thought that it's a dying tradition and i'm like one of the few left to have this kind of well, motivation. I really have much more to see eh..but the difference between us is that i'm a really negative, dark and moody person and she's bubbly and cheerful and lively. Maybe i cant see through the facade or i'm plainly blinded by the past but i'll take my time around things. Never gonns rush to secure something anymore. This is another weird feeling that came along with knowing her. I don't like her in that way, or am i close to her, or am i in anyway someone to her but i really trust her and i want to talk to her. I'm a little freaked out hehm. I have to feel really lucky to meet what i consider 'rare' thrice in the span of half a year. The astrology is really working for me woo~ she's like the cutest person ever when she starts spazzing LOLOL okay i should stop heh.

Always dancing late into the night and regretting the next morning but hey. Its dance. So jeremy said that dance is like food.. for example. Hip hop is like rice cus its the basis of everything. Then the meat and vegetable is the moves you have and the gravy is your essence HAHA FUCK but still its quite true. I should start carving something out of my animation. And all i have is 5 days to do it it seems..i need to get something out before dance camp. Personal aim to improve too..

I think... After spending so many hours alone. I think, im starting to think i might have finally gotten over the pains and shitm but the flames always rekindles everytime i see the person and i dont know.. my dreams are becoming more and more vivid. Maybe one day that only sweet dream i had might come true? But still. I wish i wasnt the kind of be so... Honest and loyal. And the type to not like to hurt people because i'm good in emotional dominance. Both visible and invisible and if its the latter, also unknown to me because well, its not me doing the shit. I do pretty well in reverse psychology unknowingly and only to realise what i done days later and to regret and hurt. I think its nice for a guy to be sensitive, but not to my level. Its not fun i swear... You feel the fear of others when they feel scared. Damn..

I think i want to sit and lie down under the stars again. With someone important and talk about life again. Because no matter how big the troubles your mind says it is, when returning to nature your mind relaxes and well, at least for me. The night air and clear skies and trying to figure out which lights in the sky are satellites and which are stars. Its always refreshing and a huge recharge for me but to allow someone to do it with me is well, thats huge cus thats me in my rawest form. I think how the stars forms and planets flies across the universe and how small you really are and i realise again. Maybe my problems have a solution and im sure as hell gonna try again

I miss that idiot..