Sleepless

So its a good 3am in the morning and my thoughts hasnt been running wild lately, at least not till today. Physically i'm so sleepy i want to just collapse for a few days and sleep but my mind and muscles... They want to keep moving. They know i'm pushing myself nowhere near the limit. Not even halfway there. The second day consecutive of pt, and my body feels like its taunting me. Strange feelings.

I dont like how... Its getting tougher and tougher for me to talk to people nowadays. My condition seems to be detiorating. I have... Social anxiety sigh i cant seem to be able to hold a proper conversation with someone else without getting distracted and feeling really fidgity inside. That and when i'm in a crowd, i feel really nervous and pressured. Looks like my dream may actually come true..

Anyway, i'm getting kind of pissed off with things around me. I'm losing close friends, history is repeating again. I guess thats why i cannot afford to be sentimental. It affects me so much more.. and especially when it comes to liking someone. Infatuations, crushes, liking the idea of the person. That's kind of... Annoying to me since theyre all happening around me so quickly.

'The hardest to love are those who need it the most'

I wanna rant to someone haha