Sleepyhead

Now i am burnt out. Physically, FB pt is nothing. I dont wear that crest to training for nothing damnit and mentally, im fine. Emotionally i stabilised. But still... I guess i'm actually just sleepy tonight HAHA but something is still nibbling at me. Some inkling of dangers coming.

I guess the time alone really did help. Finally, finally i got over her. I can look at her and feel nothing. Its really stupid damnit... To be so attached to someone i just met in a day. But to get over her really cost me a lot. I lost my closeness to my class clique. Hell i lost the closeness to almost everyone in my class except maybe those like me. It was a clique of 13. Not anymore.. but yeah. I guess i was the burden to the group. I dont want them to be worried anymore. Ah... I actually really miss them. I guess the time alone drew me back into my shell again cus.. its actually hard to talk to some of them now. Then again. I find trouble talking to anyone. What a strong lesson. How the hell do i get close to people now anyways???

Irony really. How is it that the trust i could give to one person could destroy any bridges i want to build with others. I dont know, maybe because people's been climbing all over my head so much i gotten used to it. Or maybe the fact that i have a good memory and everytime a similar situation happens i remember the past. I hate my memory really. The things that happened 3 years ago. The images are still crystal clear. Now to think of it.. i really do commit too hard and too much for my age. No wonder people say i'm already super mature for my age. Maybe not in all the ways. Some people say i resemble a 28 year old looking to settle down. Weird aint it. That and... Thanks to a few old problems and generally overthinking. The scenarios in my head... God damnit. The possibilities. The preparations for wars that will never happen.

Okay so like recently someone asked me this. Is it more important to love, or to be loved. This stunned me and well it took me DAYS to answer. Im a libran so... I debate with myself. Long and hard debates and well. I came upon a little quote by an unknown source.
'To ask if it is important to love or be loved would be to ask a bird, which is more important, the left or the right wing?'

And this has been pissing me off recently too. There's a reason its called an infatuation, or an eyecandy or whatever the shit some people called. It could be admiration from afar or simply at its most innocent, just liking the person. Not the relationship way. More like, look shes nice, i like her. More of the opposite of dislike than the like-like. So why the fuck... Is so many people telling me their opinions if i should chase her or not?