Friends..?

And i need you to know, my times of high are merely an illusion, my states of depression are merely a farce. I have everything to be happy for, the things i have and every reason to be sad, for all the people i lost but these things and people are no warrant for these highs and lows. And i'd hope you'll understand, some days i'm the most confident and i walk like i'm on top of the world and some days i stride with my head down wondering what went wrong with me. I hope you'll understand that i dont mean any hard words, i have no grudge against anyone and i will never mean any ill intentions when i prefer to protect than destroy. I hope you'll come to know me of more than just that popper or guitarist, much less the rumours spread by mouth about me and that i'm not the best friend anyone can have. And some days i feel so anxious and irritated inside i barely have any peace with myself. Some days i'd rather be dead and some days i wish she was by my side. I'm not that superman that can handle everything. I have ridiculous rest periods from everyone i need once in awhile and if you ever disturb me then well good luck to you. I've wished many times over that i was never down with this but a step too late, only have to live and cope. But i know that if ever you get so close to me, truly enough to know so much more the others can never tell, you might find out i'm a seasonal friend. Someone that appears more in times of trouble to help out than in spring times. I constantly find myself in trouble im not so much related to. This time is the re-transit over to the high. I enjoy the transit period the most. I feel.... Balanced and at my best.

And on a side note. This stupid injury in my left tricep is affecting my entire arm damn. I cant tick or strobe with my left side now sighs.

I'm so tired now i want to sleep for a week. Avoid dance, avoid my guitar, avoid society and just hide in my room and sleep for a goddamned week. I am that tired now but... I have to keep on training. I'm not ready to stop cus i have someone to beat. And till i beat him, i'm not resting.
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