As promised, I'll do the post... I don't want it on ask.fm it's way too open there so here it is. Be glad anon I'm in a charitable mood tonight. I've nothing to lose either so... I'll be dead honest?
I thought coming in to poly, it would be more of fun and getting to know people. Schoolwork aside.. I would meet new people and have new experiences like everyone said and yes I was pretty excited for school to start. Nothing on the first day but the second day of orientation and well I met her then for the first time. One look into her eyes, one look at her and BAM. I guess in that one look I understood what was happening around her then, I sort of understood that her background emotions was similar to mine and her personality in general had strong similarities to me and it took just one night to turn the first impression into full-blown affection. Pretty damn fast considering it was just a day. And in just the first day alone I could see she was special. She literally shone out from the crowd. You know that feeling when you see someone with something huge behind them walking through the crowd? Same thing. I really thought I lost my auric vision heh. Here I was still questioning if I should try to get close to girls again...
A week passed and in that time she told me things, some problems and because of that my dreamy gaze on her changed into something more grave. It changed from me wanting to be with her to me wanting to see her smile, to make sure she wasn't sad, to protect her basically. It grew stronger everyday and soon this flame in my chest started lighting again and I realised that firstly, I'm free from my past and secondly, I just fell in love. And this all happened so quickly. I forgot how it was like to be so committed to someone and now there's someone whom I met in less than a month ago who can make me smile when she does and feel down when she's sad and if she ever was down all I wanted to do to hug her and tell her things would be fine and even if it wouldn't I would still be there always.Someone that turned my life damned upside-down by just appearing.. And I know it's not some stupid little crush I change all the time. She's not really always in my mind. As I go through the day and I see something that reminds me of her, I don't feel that high or the want to jump around in happiness. It's the kind of.. approval and warmth. I don't blush when someone teases me and I was seriously not afraid to just flaunt her to the whole world.She doesn't turn me electrified and jumpy, but more of tenderly drowsy so for me that means I am almost at full comfort level around her. Doesn't seem to make things better by the fact that the way I worry about her is about the same as towards my family members.. and the feeling in my chest. It was solid. Really,really solid and heavy.
Who said love at first sight doesn't exist any more?
This is the best part. I feel... contented and happy the moment I get to see her smile and I actually do ask myself this,why am I this lucky to have met her?
That question being settled...Mothers day today. I shouldn't be emo tonight at the least. But hey i tried to rant to my father about some things and it really does feel so much better than ranting to friends. Life changes again and again, so many in a week. No matter how strong i am it is still kind of unsettling...
I really do miss you, you know?
No comments:
Post a Comment