It's really weird. The rainy mood and batch stretching served as a reminder to me, or should i say, a very old me. The songs being played only helped me remember a very strong, albeit a little strange, promise i made back a while ago.
Not really to anyone, but to myself really. I was not supposed to feel attached to anyone anymore since her and here i am, stuck in a very strange position. I have my whole heart bearing me forward and my whole head pulling me back and there's me, stuck between watching things unfold and making things unfold. A four way dilemna. This absolutely sucks..
My dance has came to an abrupt halt. Probably a big plateau to overcome again. Every plateau i face is bigger and bigger, tougher and tougher. I miss my roots of music in guitar. Maybe i'll quit dance, go back to guitar, go back to reality. Its getting tough to balance so much at once..
And hey, i'm looking towards changing course. Maybe change school. Maybe change this entire life of mine.
Someone ever taught me to keep the deepest reserve of the space of your heart for the one to come. Its ready for sure. But... Im terrified. For many reasons and many things. I need a hug. LOL
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